As I prepare to step into 2021, I am starting from a pretty good place.

1. I am proud of myself for carving out a role in 2020 as someone who continued to reach out and build a community via Facebook. I committed to asking questions, making connections, and strengthening bonds across my friend groups, and I’m happy with the results. If people are isolating and disconnecting, it’s not my lack of effort to offer alternatives.
2. I’m thriving in my remote-work environment. I absolutely love working from home, I’m happier with my job, and I’m even more productive than when at the office. This is a win/win all around.
3. My home life is better than it was. Ric and I are in a great space with each other, and I don’t know that I have ever felt closer to or happier with him. And having Ric’s brother, Ben, move into our home has been one of the greatest — and easiest — decisions we have ever made. Our lives are better because Ben is here.

All that said, there is always room for growth and improvement, so here’s a few things that I am going to do. It’s doubtful I will be able to change long-standing behaviors by simply stating my intention, but it’s the start of a new year and I’m willing to give it a go with words and actions:

In 2021, I resolve to stop:

1. Letting negative feelings become hurtful beliefs.
2. Thinking poorly of myself.
3. Assuming negative things about my friendships.

Instead, I will work to:

1. Acknowledge the feelings.
2. Objectively assess them.
3. Resolve what seems credible and dismiss the nonsense.

Just because a thought pops into my head doesn’t mean it’s reality. Fear and insecurity have voices, too. But I need to take a good look and decide if there’s legitimate criticism or if I am just being hyper-critical or overanxious. This is especially true regarding my friendships, and I commit to not assuming the worst. Sometimes, a friend’s lack of response or communication may have absolutely nothing to do with me at all.

In 2021, I resolve to not be held back by my fears of:

1. Not being able to finish something I start.
2. Sharing an idea publicly and being mocked or ridiculed.
3. Turning a private dream into a public goal.

Instead, I will:

1. Trust in my plan to make my small business a reality
2. Promote my own product with the same support I offer to my friends.
3. Bring comfort and happiness to others with services I believe in.

Something inside of me just kept squashing down the belief that I had an idea worth developing, promoting, and offering to others. “That’s not something I could ever do,” I would tell myself, as I walked away from my ideas. But that was then. Now? I’m proud of what I am creating, confident in the team that is helping me, and excited about telling the world.

In 2021, I resolve to avoid saying any of the following:

1. “… but I don’t understand why you would like that.”
2. “… I wouldn’t if I were you.”
3. “… that sounds risky/scary/difficult.”

Instead, I will opt for these:

1. “I’m glad you enjoyed that.”
2. “It’s great that you are willing to try that.”
3. “I’m impressed by how brave you are.”

I don’t have to like a thing to like that my friends do. I can just be supportive and encouraging because I know that whatever it is makes them happy. And right now, and deep into 2021, we are going to need for everyone to be as happy, as passionate, and as emotionally strong as they can be.

Let’s do this, 2021.