This Is One Hundred Percent Personal
“Why can’t we get along? Why can’t we just agree to disagree? Why would anyone be so upset over political differences that they would actually end a friendship?”
If you have to ask, you are most likely in a position of privilege where discussions of civil liberties and equality under the law are academic exercises in hypotheticals that allow you to imagine “what if” without actually experiencing the anxiety or the fear of the consequences.
“Should gay people be allowed to be married?”
“Should gay people serve in the military?”
“Should homosexuality still be illegal?”
All three of those are very real arguments being made today by religious conservatives. Even the 2020 GOP Platform included an anti-marriage equality position. This isn’t dramatic hyperbole. These are actual legal arguments being made in courtrooms all across the country, and some of these cases may wind up before the US Supreme Court.
If you aren’t affected, good for you. But I don’t have the luxury of discussing these issues as if they are table talk only. They impact my life and my marriage. One decision made by the highest court in the land and my marriage could be legally dissolved.
Do you get that? Do you really? If you’re a straight man or woman, imagine waking up one morning and learning that, because of a court ruling, your marriage is no longer legally valid. Own a home or business together? Too bad. Sort it out as unmarried people. Have children together? Figure that out, too. Can you actually imagine everything in your life being turned upside down in an instant?
Well, I can imagine. I know that rightwing religious extremists are biding their time until the right court is seated and the perfect case comes before them. And then enough judges decide, “religious freedom is so important, and sure, bakers and hotels and paramedics and lawyers shouldn’t have to provide services to homosexuals.”
And people like me find myself in a strange town one night, tossed out of my AirBnB because the property owner doesn’t want to rent to a homo. And I’m left stuck on a highway somewhere because a tow truck driver thinks the rainbow sticker on my car proves I’m a sinner and he has no legal obligation to provide assistance. And when I’m on the floor of my own home after having a stroke or a heart attack, the paramedic first on scene decides that someone else can take the call because he doesn’t approve of homosexuality.
These are not extreme examples. This is what life looks like for a gay man when religious freedom demands become law. And this is what life in America could look like very soon.
All of this is a way to say one simple thing clearly. Supporting people that support these laws is a direct attack on me, my life, and my husband. If you are that person, you are literally helping other people take away my rights and my basic civil liberties. You are actively working to make my life worse.
My marriage… my life with this man… after 23 years, it could be legally dissolved in a single court ruling. If you don’t get that by now, you are choosing to stay ignorant. And if you do get that, but it isn’t enough to make you change your mind about supporting the right wing, then there’s only one question left for me to ask:
